Secret Agent: Cold War Espionage [Xbox]

Developed and published by Kungfu Takeaway, Secret Agent: Cold War Espionage has you in the role of a Secret Agent (what a surprise) as they travel the world and try to uncover the plan of an evil mastermind set on global domination. With seven levels to complete, Agent 49 (yep, that’s your identity) must follow instructions, collect dossiers and stop these evil plans once and for all.

Via the main menu you can gain access to a few Extras: Control Map, Credits, and TV Guide & Dinner, all of which serve minimal purpose other than to explain controls and rewatch the Credits - having other stuff in here might have been a better option. You can replay levels via Mission Select, which is a lifesaver given that you’re bound to miss some collectibles (or extravagant deaths) on your first playthrough - and with no ability to skip through all of the dialogue when you play levels again, you’ll not want to have to sit through absolutely everything all over again.

Movement is awkward and clunky, with a ridiculous jump that will have you scaling high walls and buildings in no time - and aiming (whether with the scope or not) that is infuriatingly jerky, making it much harder than necessary to get a decent shot. There are so many things that could have been tweaked in very minor ways that would have improved things tenfold: the walking speed is painfully slow, and sneaking even more so - I actually found that it was better to just run everywhere, only to sneak at the last possible second, in order to alleviate some of the tedium.

The simple visuals paired with the subdued colour palette work well here (though the final level is suddenly shockingly colourful in comparison), along with the slight adjustment to the screen shape mimicking older CRT televisions. Sadly, the level environments are often a little too simple, instead appearing quite boring and lifeless. The Tokyo level was probably the most visually appealing design, but there were even many similarities to other locations there, too. Sound design is fairly bland, with repetitive tunes throughout levels, and very stereotypical accents that ended up being borderline offensive.

A few collectible options are available, such as briefcases that are stored away in KGB vehicles or in amongst wooden crates; CIA vans in parking lots, with agents in the back; as well as ‘bugs’ on walls to record your enemies’ conversations. CCTV cameras can be destroyed - with twenty being the magic number for an achievement - and there are spies hidden throughout the levels, too - some in high places, where you’ll need your binoculars to scope them out, and others a little less inconspicuous (though you’ll still have to see them through the binoculars for them to count).

Overall, Secret Agent: Cold War Espionage offers a simple experience that is almost comedic in its absurdity. It’s not overly long, able to be completed entirely in around an hour or so, which makes it all the more difficult to tell if the whole thing is just a bit or not. Priced at £8.39 on Xbox, it does feel ever so slightly on the high side for what it is, so I’d probably recommend holding out for a sale if you really want to play it.

In the end, we decided to give Secret Agent: Cold War Espionage the Collecting Asylum rating of 4/10.

Are you interested in Secret Agent: Cold War Espionage? What do you think of it?
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- V x

Thank you to Kungfu Takeaway for the Secret Agent: Cold War Espionage Xbox review code!